But the more I live and pursue God, I can't let these kind of questions define who I am and nor will they define who I am. I'm going to say something right now that a lot of people don't like to hear or almost get offended by, or think your crazy and too radical. I honestly don't care what my career, profession, or occupation will be because the way the world sees it, is not how I see it. This is my occupations: to know God and to fall in love with Him all the days of my life. My career is to seek to know Jesus and live in relationship with him through the Holy Spirit. This is my first life goal and my only, because everything else comes out of knowing who He is. When you see it like this, you don't have the stresses and worries that the world gets sucked into like these questions that bother us and keep us up at night: who am I? who am I going to marry? what career am I going pursue and focus on? will I be successful? will I make enough money? will it even matter? do I even matter? what is life supposed to be? do people even like me? what will they think of me? and on and on....When your eyes are on Jesus, you know the answer to all of these questions because your worth, value, and destiny are in Him.
What I am talking about is not just a rational knowledge of what God is like or who he is. I mean a knowledge of God that transcends all understanding and all knowledge. I mean to actually know the living God and walk with Him. I mean to be radically lost and found in Him considering all things loss and rubbish for the sake of knowing Jesus. If the knowledge of God that we understand doesn't transform and change our lives like it did the apostles, then we haven't gotten it fully yet. I believe there is so much more to this life and so much more in our relationships with God than what we have thought possible. The living God is alive and we are sons because Jesus has torn the veil. The Holy Spirit is inside us teaching us and speaking to us and leading us. The Holy Spirit still acts like He did before the creation of the world and like he did when He was poured out on to the first disciples. If we truly believe this, let us let go of all things for the sake of knowing Him. This is the cry of my heart. This is what I was made for.
Jesus is my King, my God, my Lord, my Teacher, my Savior, my Everything! And he died to set me free and He is alive to lead me in the way I shall go. I don't just say these as mere words and doctrines. I truly believe this and know this because Jesus has shown me these things himself. I have tried to run from it, seeking my value and pleasure in other things-but they all lead to nothing and left me depressed. I have walked the other way but there is nothing as great as knowing my Lord Jesus Christ! I am convinced that once you know this and get a hold of it, there is nothing in all the world that can separate you from His love. And that even if you try to run from it and go to depths of the sea, to ends of the universe, to the darkest corner, to the ends of the earth, that He will be there. Even if you wanted to give up and run away from God, you couldn't because He is so great and good, and His love has no ends. You were made by Him and for Him, and in Him you find the fullest meaning of life. The God who is Holy and unapproachable has made himself known to us and desires for us to approach him and be found in Him.
Psalms 27 and Philippians 3 are my life goals:
One thing I ask from the LORD, this is only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. -(Psalms 27:4)
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek. -(Psalms 27:8)
"Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you. 2 Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. 3 For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh—4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence.
If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more:5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.
7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15 All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
17 Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. 18 For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body". -(Philippians 3)
